i think my tv is drunk
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
