the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
