I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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