Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I checked into jail on foursquare
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
