Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
