no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
