I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
