I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
