If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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