okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
