I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
