She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
