ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
