So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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