WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
