i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
