Yo dont text me then not text me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
