It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he wants to bone in the snuggie
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
