Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I AM VODKA MAN
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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