her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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