Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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