But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
