I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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