Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
