how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
