brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize