i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
