Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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