I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize