**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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