You're completely useless in the revolution.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize