We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
