I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
