Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
