He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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