i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
