he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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