Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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