i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
