I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
