he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
