haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
