At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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