My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
