Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
