Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
