So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
as a side note pls kill me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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