I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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