You're my little dorito
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
