On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
