He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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