so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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