Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
