so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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