trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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