ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
