Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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