I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
