he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
