sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize