I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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