remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She announced her abortion via fbk
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
